I have to take a hiatus from OkCupid, which means that there will be a lack of original content on here for a while. I’ll still be on Tumblr, so I’ll still reblog and comment on things, but I won’t be posting any new things. School is really kicking my ass this semester. I’m having a really hard time keeping up with everything. In an effort to fix that, I’m trying to cut out some of the unnecessary distractions. OkCupid is one of those distractions. This isn’t going to start immediately. This weekend I need to go through my OKC inboxes and load up the queue.
I hope you all understand and that I won’t loose too many of you. School has to come first. I’ve screwed up too many times (in my opinion) academically to take these last two years lightly.
I had exchanged perfectly lovely messages with this man, and we were making plans to meet when this happened. What the actual fuck?! Yes, add a smiley. That will certainly not be creepy with a smiley, cos bitches love smileys! Am I right?
I’m sure he’s composing some bullshit message about how he just clicked random boxes on the match questions even as I am hitting the Block button.
"Explore each other." Ew.
And what even was that first message?
If this guy is really searching for women aged 20-55, he must have dozens of 99% matches. Does he send this stupid message to all of them?
Nah, chances are he’s actually looking for women aged 18-25, and he’s already tried this extremely boring approach with all the other ones.
Btw watchriadate this confirms your hypothesis that the guys do read profiles - they just don’t care.
Sure, excessive-emoticon-using 35y/o military dude in Slovenia, please enlighten me with your thoughts about “What on Earth”. Please do. I feel very confused right now.
When random strangers on dating sites propose to me within the first message.
"Hi there! How are you?" isn’t a good message either.
don’t be a little shit to me on tinder
Wow, so refreshing, no one’s ever thought of going the simple route and just saying hey to me on tinder before! Oh no wait.
First I got messaged by a guy old enough to be my dad, now one older than my late grandfather. Wtf, dudes?
I’ve never laughed so hard at any okc message in my life!
So a story from tonight about consent:
I was supposed to meet a guy I’d been talking to for about a week, and we were meeting pretty much to see if we liked each other because we’d both expressed interest in having casual sex and/or a friends with benefits relationship. I got to the coffee shop where we were supposed to meet and he wasn’t there. I checked my phone, and here he’d sent a text saying “Can we just skip the date and fuck?”
I have pretty strict rules when it comes to guys who want to have casual sex with me - and this includes meeting them first to see if we’re compatible and see if I would even trust being alone with them - so I said no, I was not comfortable with that. And he continued to send me messages about skipping the date and fucking, and sending coercing messages like “c’mon, pretty please?” that were supposed to make me feel bad. Eventually, ten minutes past when we were supposed to meet (he’d never showed up anyway), I said,
"Look, I’m not even comfortable meeting you anymore, even in public. I have clear boundaries and you are showing no respect for them, so I am going home."
His response was incredibly flippant - “lol ok w/e.” Which meant that he never really cared whether he had sex with me or not in the first place, and he never cared about me as a person with feelings.
Dodged a bullet there, as he very well could’ve turned into a rapist when we were alone; I blocked him from my phone and OKC, and I hope I never run into him on the street.
(Also, before anyone says I’m overreacting by saying he could’ve turned into a rapist - he was displaying a lot of predatory behavior when he was messaging me about skipping the date. We had already agreed to meet before we decided to take it any further or not, and instead of still honoring that rule, he broke it and wanted to just skip to having sex right away without so much as a hello. He was asking me for nudes even after I said I wasn’t comfortable with it, etc. He was not respecting my consent about sex-related things, so he probably wouldn’t have respected my consent about actual sex.)
S: You were totally justified in your response. He sounds like a scumbag.
Always trust your instincts. If something seems off, something is probably off.
Some people might say that an attitude like the one I just expressed is too uptight, too judgmental, too whatever, but I don’t really care. Everybody, regardless of sex, gender, or orientation needs to be careful when dating, but we especially have to be extra careful when it comes to online dating. We all think we’re great at weeding out the weirdos, but even when you’re a pro, some still slink on through.
Do you, baby. You were 100% right to feel how you felt… and it sounds like you were justified in it, too.